I think I know a fair bit about many types of addiction but today I learned some more about my own. I tried desperately to take the day off and eventually settled for a swim. Even then, I would have done my leg weights at the Y but I forgot my gym clothes so that was a message I think. On the way home I was still thinking that an easy ride and run would be just the thing, but I could tell that my legs were still rubbery. I managed to say no!
But! I had an awful day. I feel bitchy and irritable and just generally out of sorts. I have a general sense of anxiety without anything to blame. I even had some physical symptoms, most notably an irregular heart rate. That freaked me out a little, but Cory, I am 100 percent sure it was just anxiety! It is now 10 pm and I still feel all pent up.
I'm quite impressed really as to how significant the sensations are. I suppose I should get a life. I did end up going to the liquor store and had 3 drinks, but now I feel like crap on account of that. It just goes to show you that you can't correct one form of addiction with another.
I'm sure that no one feels the least bit sorry for me, and quite frankly that's the way I want it. Despite the fact that perhaps I overdo it a little, and indeed do have an exercise addiction, I think it is still irrefutable that its the least harmful of them all. I will try hard to keep it all in perspective in the coming months.
And on scarier types of addiction I wish to announce to the world that my son Jon has recently celebrated over 3 years of sobriety and in fact just 2 weeks ago has completely weaned himself off of methadone as well. That in itself is a long demanding process but his resolve never wavered. He is here at the moment putting a new floor in the basement for Roo, and I can not possibly describe the pride I take in him. He is my reminder to never, ever give up on anyone, or anything. Even though I know he doesn't read this blog I still wish to say, "Way to go son! I'm damn, damn, DAMN proud of you. "
(swim 1200 metres)
"Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism."---Carl Jung
But! I had an awful day. I feel bitchy and irritable and just generally out of sorts. I have a general sense of anxiety without anything to blame. I even had some physical symptoms, most notably an irregular heart rate. That freaked me out a little, but Cory, I am 100 percent sure it was just anxiety! It is now 10 pm and I still feel all pent up.
I'm quite impressed really as to how significant the sensations are. I suppose I should get a life. I did end up going to the liquor store and had 3 drinks, but now I feel like crap on account of that. It just goes to show you that you can't correct one form of addiction with another.
I'm sure that no one feels the least bit sorry for me, and quite frankly that's the way I want it. Despite the fact that perhaps I overdo it a little, and indeed do have an exercise addiction, I think it is still irrefutable that its the least harmful of them all. I will try hard to keep it all in perspective in the coming months.
And on scarier types of addiction I wish to announce to the world that my son Jon has recently celebrated over 3 years of sobriety and in fact just 2 weeks ago has completely weaned himself off of methadone as well. That in itself is a long demanding process but his resolve never wavered. He is here at the moment putting a new floor in the basement for Roo, and I can not possibly describe the pride I take in him. He is my reminder to never, ever give up on anyone, or anything. Even though I know he doesn't read this blog I still wish to say, "Way to go son! I'm damn, damn, DAMN proud of you. "
(swim 1200 metres)
"Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism."---Carl Jung
And this is one of those times I wish to expalin how this quote hit me. I am often very quick to criticize people who are addicted to religion. Perhaps it's not so different than my exercise mania? They are both a form of idealism.
Love
Peter
Congratulations Jon!
ReplyDeleteWay to go Jon. CONGRATULATIONS on conquering your demons and WINNING!!! Wooohoooo. You are an inspiration to all. Pete, your anxieties will subside bit by bit each day. Many life changes has happened. Keep yourself grounded and balanced and all will be well. Meditation works great for me. Give it a try.
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