"What Run?

Some things in life just need to be forgotten.  Sometimes there are just no explanations and it is not worth analyzing why this or that happened.  Like my run today.  I completely fell apart.  I was doing ok until 11 kms when the wind screwed me over with a very quick direction change.  I slowed to a crawl and knew I was never going to recover.  I cut it short at 18kms and called it a day.  Other than the wind which could not completely account for it have no explanation.  I'm gonna try hard just to leave it at that and move on.
Bring on tomorrow!!
Better yet...bring on next year!!

(18 very slow kms)

"Diligent as one must be in learning, one must be as diligent in forgetting."---Albert J Nock

Love
Peter

"Ironman Ups and Downs"

Given that a fellow has no significant physical limitations, like the lack of legs or arms, then Ironman is almost exclusively a mental battle.  The reason I am afraid to make a time prediction is for that reason exactly.  I don't know if I have the guts to do what I know my body is capable of doing if properly conditioned. 

Proof of my mental incompetence lies of course within my genes, but if you need more than that just look to my indecision in my training strategies.  Once again I am "re-looking" at my approach to the swim.  Hopefully for the last time.  What triggered this last "bout of doubt" was a little more research and a little more practical testing.  I am trying to understand the physics of swimming and it is very clear that one of the most significant factors is buoyancy, and also centre of buoyancy.  Buoyancy obviously just means how easy you float, as determined by your bone and body density, whereas centre of bouyancy describes which way you would tip and how quickly.  Most human beings will sink or float in a normal vertical position since the centre of buoyancy is above the waist.  How quickly your legs sink is however determined by your individual centre.  It is for this  reason that women can maintain a horizontal position easier than men because they carry more buoyant material below their waist and thus have a lower centre of buoyancy.  It also explains why the gap between men and women in swim speed is less than in most weight bearing sports.  And if you need further evidence of that, have a look at the body types of many long distance female swimmers. They float easily because of low body density, and they float horizonatlly without a lot of effort because of where their primary body fat is located. 

Come spring time I am going to figure out a way to measure my centre of buoyancy, but only to prove my point.  Yesterday I watched the man in the lane next to me and was amazed that he did not kick at all.  His legs hovered about 18 ins below the surface and stayed there as he plodded along.  That's where my practical testing  came in.  I tried the same thing and managed 3 strokes before I literally stopped dead.    My legs sank immediately!  The fat I carry is all above my waist and I also believe I have very high bone density.

So what does all this mean specifically for me?  I may have mentioned before that I want to develop a 2 beat kick.  Since I am not athletically inclined it is the best approach  in order to have a relaxed swim that doesn't burn too much energy.  The problem is, that without my westuit, a 2 beat kick needs to be really agressive in order to keep me horizontal in the water.  That unfortunately immediately defeats the intent, and leaves me winded in about 5 minutes!

How then do I train?  While I can simulate the energy requirements of wetsuit swimming with pull buoys they do not allow me to kick properly.  I guess the answer is obvious and although it feels like cheating in a big way I plan on using my wetsuit more often.  After all, I'm an idiot, so why not look like one!

I have also modified my swim time expectation one more time.  I came to realize that trying to improve my swim was my biggest stressor and rather than expend energy trying to gain 10 minutes in the water I will focus on the other 2 sports where I am not so intimidated.

And that brings me to running.  The only thing that worries me in this discipline is injury of some kind.  I was inspired today by Claudette's long run (she is now officially faster than me) and that gets me all pumped.  Tomorrow is my longer one and I will try to duplicate her terrific 2 hour, 2 mins for 22.22 kms.  I am also very excited to have found my spring marathon and I signed up today.  Much to my surprise there is a beautiful marathon in Waterloo, Ontario on April 29!!  It is barely advertised and I came on it almost by accident.  It meets all of my cirteria..  It's small with not more than 150 runners, it has the same start and finish, it is close by, and is run mostly on country roads.  Woohoo!

While my cycling and my weights have gone a bit stale over the last month I am confident that I will pick it back up.  Before you know it spring will be here and I'll be back hammering outside.  I think I have learned a few things about cycling training that I will try to put to use on the trainer in the meantime.

The big demon I have not managed to slay yet has been the the old waistline.  I have crept up a bit in body fat the last few weeks which is no big deal in itself but I wish I knew how to shed the 10-12 pounds that sits primarly on my back and waist.  The problem is trying to find a balance between getting enough calories for good workouts, but still be able to go a bit negative with the intake.  I try especially hard to watch my consumption of fat calories and yet I am stuck on this plateau.  Can you imagine the difference that shedding 12 lbs of useless baggage would make over 42.2 kms of running??  Can you imagine?? I'm looking for ideas all you smart people. 

And that's the ups and downs of Ironman training for today.  Gotts get to bed early so I can beat Roo tomorrow.  Just kidding!  I am very proud of her efforts and I don't need to be as fast as her anyway....I just need to be able to do it longer.  In all regards you never want to finish before your wife does  :)

(swim 2000 metres, 38 mins in my westuit!)

“Life is a roller coaster, you have your ups and downs unless you fall off."---Anon

Love
Peter

"Another Life Lesson"

Exactly nine years ago today was one of the most special days of my life!  What makes it a really big deal is that at the time I thought it was anything but a special time, and in actual fact thought it was going to be the opening of a painful chapter in my life.  Wow was I wrong!

The day?  The birth of my grandson! 

The joy that this child has brought me from the moment I first layed eyes on him, and for the intervening nine years is beyond description.  Hopefully a picture is worth a thousand words.



Happy Birthday Colby!

(10.3 km run, weights)

"Your sons weren't made to like you. That's what grandchildren are for."---Jane Smiley

Love
Peter

"A Groove or a Rut?

What's the difference and how can you tell which one you're in?  A rut has all negative conotations, while for some reason being in a groove is supposed to be good.  I get the rut thing, as it implies you are not in control of where you are going, but rather that you're stuck in someone else's tire tracks.  But when I think of a groove I inevitably think of going around in circles like a needle on a phonograph record.  That don't seem too positive to me either.  Regardless.  Call it a rut.  Call it a groove.  When you're in it, you need to stop and clean your bike!  That's it!

Actually it occurs to me that maybe they are the same thing anyway. After all when they talk about animals rutting, are they not "in the groove"??

(swim 1500 metres, bike 15kms)

"The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one is."---Arnold Bennett

"There's a very fine line between a groove and a rut; a fine line between eccentrics and people who are just plain nuts."---Christine Lavin
Love
Peter

"Tuesday, Dec 27, 2012"

Here's the present condition of my family as of 10:20 pm this day in December.
My wife is in bed having a well deserved early turn-in.
My grandchildren are in front of the computer together eating ice cream.
Miguette is off to her night shift at the old people factory.
Adrian is downstairs with a lady guest doing whatever you do with lady guests.
Michael has gone back to his nice apartment in downtown London in his own car.
Jon and Alisha are back at their respective job and school, both of whcih they enjoy and are good at.
Peter just talked to his children on the phone and he seems sober.

The highlight of my day was at the local rec complex, where for the first time ever I bounced back and forth between 2 rinks trying to see both kids play at the same time.  What a freakin joy!  As I watched it occurred to me that both of them could be a little more agressive in their playing style.  Then again I thought....NOT!  They both love it so much that why would I want to change a thing in what they do?  If not agressive towards others on the ice, they still play very hard and gain all the benefits of exercise and team sports.  Agression is easy to teach if and when there is value in it.  Right now there is none.  They are happy! 

And so am I!

(10.3 km run, 51 mins)

"Aggression is inherently destructive of relationships. People and ideologies are pitted against each other, believing that in order to survive, they must destroy the opposition."---Margaret J Wheatley.

“The tendency of aggression is an innate, independent, instinctual disposition in man... it constitutes the most powerful obstacle to culture".---Sigmund Freud

Love
Peter

"Big Sisters"

Few people are blessed with large, close families who love and support each other. You've probably figured out over the last few years that I count myself amongst this lucky few!. Of course in actual fact I have been part of this group for my entitre life but it is only since my illness that I have really come to appreciate it's value.

But if you call that good fortune what about the guy who also was accepted as an extended member of another large family courtesy of his spouse? Yup, there's another whole gang of near idiots out there the matriarch of which is my other "older" sister. Yes indeed folks. I have another sister who you've not heard about. I've been keeping her in the closet!

Heeeeeeres Kathy!



And yes you need to believe me. She truly is older than me even if she doesn't look it. I do need to remind her as often as possible. It has been neat for me over the last few years as I reconnect with my own family in meaningful ways, to have had a similar experience with Kathy and the rest of Roo's siblings. We had a really nice Regnier Christmas today. Life is good!

And I'm just kidding about keeping her in the closet. I'm actually quite proud of her. The example she sets, and the spirit of kindness and tolerance she exhibits in her words and actions inspires me as I know it does others. I'm pretty sure that it's because of her example that her amazing daughter Samantha doesn't need to live in the closet either! May the Creator bless you for that Kate!

"God is definitely out of the closet"--- Marianne Williamson

Love
Peter

"What a Happy Christmas"

Well at least for me and my family. Everyone was here and we had a peaceful but fun day. Unfortunately it seems like we live on an island. Just before bed I had a quick look on CNN.com to see what's happening in the world outside of St Thomas on this "holy" day. They have a section called latest news. The top 7 headings contained these 7 words respectively. Bombed, fatal, die, kills, revolutionary, dead, and last but not least another kills!!

Peace on earth, good will toward men!

"He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree"---Roy L Smith

Love
Peter

"Twas The Night Before Christmas"

Some where around grade 3 I memorized this.  I stiil remember the first 2 lines!!

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house  (yup, Christmas tomorrow)
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; (well maybe one or two in our house)
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, (whats a chimney grampa)?
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there; (santa is a saint??)
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,  (yah right!)
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; (Old John, whats a sugar plum?)
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,  (can you picture Roo in her sleeping kerchief?)
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,  (I love naps)
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, (that's a good word, clatter)
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. I haven't sprang for about 30 years)
Away to the window I flew like a flash,  (hey, I can fly!)
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. (what's a sash grampa?)
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow  (ooohhh,  breasts of snow)
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below, (lustre, another good word)
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,  I don't see so well any more)
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer, (why tiny?)
With a little old driver, so lively and quick, (old and still quick...that's good)
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.  (yah, I guess he is a saint!)
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,  (I thought they were reindeer...what's a courser grampa?)
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name; (quiet, the kids are sleeping)
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen! (very strange names eh?)
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen! (yah, easy to remember stuff that rhymes)
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!  (broke my porch and my wall, fuckers!)
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"  (they just got here!?)
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,  (no hurricanes in St Thomas, thank you)
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky, (leaves?  In the winter?)
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew, (and then broke the house top too)
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too. (can't be many toys in a tiny sleigh)
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof  (and my hearing's even worse
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.  (careful with my new shingles!)
As I drew in my head, and was turning around, (smashed my head on the sash!  Ow!)
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. (I'm trying to imagine bounding down a chimney)
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,  (that must be a little warm)
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; (not a wonder I guess)
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, (how do you know they were toys?)
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. (until he opened his pack?)
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! (dimples?)
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! (he didn't have any pants on??)
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,  (wtf)
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow; (no snow here)
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,  (no smokin in our house Santa!)
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath; ( I didn't think that saints smoke, next thing Jesus will too)
He had a broad face and a little round belly, (Santa is a broad?  Who knew?)
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly. (too many sugar plums!)
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, (I thought he was Santa...now he's an elf?)
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;  (I hope he's not sensitive)
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,  (he better not wink at my wife!)
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;  (after all he's a saint I guess)
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,  (the first thing I really admire about him, he works for a living)
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,  (what was Steve Martin doing there?)
And laying his finger aside of his nose,  (magic? wow!)
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose; (I wish I could do that)
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,  (I guess if this fat guy can "sprang", I could work on it too)
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.  (a little gentler on my roof at least)
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,  (I thought he flew??  Now he's driving?)
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."  (from me as well as Santa)

(run 24.3kms , 2:03:36)

Love
Peter

"Every Thing is Relative"

I was going to write a post about how tough it is right now to keep plugging along, with the race still some 8 months away and a winter still to conquer.  To gain some perspective I thought I would go back to my old blog at the same relative time, to see what I was accomplishing then.  I skimmed through several posts which seemed to suggest that I was having similar struggles back in late 2008.  And then I came to this entry made in January

"Why oh why did I wake up this morning, after a decent nights sleep, feeling like I just wanted to hide under the covers for the rest of my freakin life?? Somebody tell me! My rational mind tells me that I should be at peace as I truly have little worth worrying about, and yet I can't capture that elusive feeling. Why can't I just focus on my Ironman without feeling guilty about it, and say screw everything else"

Pretty cool eh?  I was still struggling with pretty severe depression then, and I can honestly say I have not had a morning anywhere approaching that througout this whole most recent undertaking.  Who cares about a crappy swim, or some lazy weight training?  I wake up every morning around 7 am without an alarm and immediately get up and make myself some breakfast.  I often go back to bed to enjoy it, but never go back to sleep!!  Amazing!!

Upon this really cool realization I sat down at my desk to tell you about it, and in doing so I noticed the other computer scrolling through pictures as a screen saver.  Before I tell you what came up on the screen at that very moment  I need to tell you that our Michael is home for Christmas and sitting in the living room.  Micheal is 25 years old and currently working on his PHD in Sociology at Western.  Unfortunately I spent an hour unsuccessfully trying to get the pic to upload.  You will have to settle for my description of a completely obliterated 2002 Chevrolet Avalanche.  It still makes me weak when I see it.

(swim, 2000 metres)

"Fuck!  My life is good!  Everything is relative!"---Peter w Rooyakkers

Love
Peter

"Dog Shit"

You know what I think is funny?  Watching people watch their dogs take a crap!  There seems to be so many different attitudes towards a shitting dog as there are different attitudes towards life.  In today's proper western society you can't just let your dog run around the neighbourhood to shit  anywhere he wants to, so the sight of people waiting impatiently on their leashed canine do his business is quite common.  It's pretty hard to ignore the realities of your hounds bowel movement when you are forced by society to stand there while he finishes, you with your "doggy bag" in hand.

I wonder if you could use the different poses that dog owners exhibit during this ritual as metaphors for the way they look at life?  For instance, the little old lady with the toy poodle who practically catches the crap before it even hits the ground would most likely live in a tidy little home and have a very structured and tidy attitude in everything she does.  Or the macho guy with the rottweiler who scans all passersby with his arms crossed, looking for anyone that would dare tosnicker at him.  He probably beats his wife and owns a sixty something muscle car.  Then there is the teenage girl who refuses to even acknowledge the act in progress out of sheer embarrassment.  I guarantee you that she is walking the family retreiver only because she has to, and that she is carefully avoiding any  neighbourhood where she may chance on one of her schoolmates. My favorite one is the guy or girl who turns his/her back on the dog as if to give the shitter some privacy!  What proper lives they must live eh?  They probably never fart, burp or pee in the bushes themselves out of an overabundant sense of propriety.  If my wife had a dog she would not be in this category.

All this gets me wondering what kind of a shitting dog watcher I would be if I had the opportunity.  First off  I must tell you that having grown up in the country I would struggle with the whole 'dog on a leash with my bag in hand' scenario because I have a pretty casual attitude towards stepping in a little shit now and again.  I tend to believe that it's good for ones humility to scrap some leavings off of one's shoe, and in turn perhaps even good for the humility of our society if we all had to do it a little more often. 

That being said I think if forced into the situation I would probably tend to be a bit eclectic in my pooping pooch poses, as I tend to be in life.  Like the old girl with the poodle I would try to be quick about it as I'm always in a hurry.  I have a macho side and although I don't beat my wife any more than she needs it, I don't like to be laughed at by anyone.  And even though I am not necessarily proud of it I do sometimes even tend to be a bit more proper than necessary, avoiding public embarrassment when possible.

Just for a laugh I think I'm going to start following some dog owners back to their homes, and even perhaps stalk them a little, in an attempt to prove out my metaphor for life theory.  To take it one step further we could consider that life sends us lots of crap!  That's a reality that can't be ignored, and is generally out of our control.  It's the attitude we choose in response to the crap that matters, and that is indeed within our control.

(computrainer,  55 kms-2 hours)

“Life is like a shit sandwich.  The more bread you have the less shit you have to eat"---Anon

Love
Peter

"Nothing"

Sorry. It just doesn't seem important enough today. And I have no thoughts of value to share.

"Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something"

Love
Peter

"No Whining Today"

Some people complain all the time about everything.  I don't think I'm that bad but Roo can confirm that sometimes I do get feeling a little sorry for myself.  I think what we could all use once in a while is a good does of someone else's reality.  Remember how it goes?  If everyone threw their problems in one pile for re-distribution you would sure enough grab your own back very quickly.

So no whining today.  Why?  Because although she doesn't know it my friend Sally shamed me today.  Shamed me with the way she chooses to deal with real problems....not the petty stuff I was whining about just this morning.  To take it and just refuse to stop living. On the contrary she chooses to pick up the pace of living instead.  You inspire me Sally! I think you're amazing!

And anytime that I start moping or worrying senselessly I'm gonna think of you.  When I do, I am going to remember specifically that I can make the world a better place by emulating you.  Thank you for this gift.

"Be Not Afraid"

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that things are difficult."---Seneca

Love
Peter

"I'm Glad I Don't Have a Real Job!"

Cause I simply don't have time for one.  Here was my day.

7:00   Made and ate my Breakfast (in bed)
8:00   Drove my nephew to school.(he missed the bus)
8:30   Made Colb's breakfast. (toaster struddles in bed!)
9:00   Drove Colb to School. (the kid spends a lot of time on the bus)
9:30   Ran around the block. (nice and warm out but legs still sore)
10:30 Swam at the YMCA (hard work it seems)
12:00 Lunch with Adrian at Bella jacks (the best mexican restaurant outside of Mexico)
1:30   Work (at the kitchen table)
3:30   Pick Colb up at school  (the bus would be too late)
4:00   Take Colb to hockey practice (we like to be early, I love the time in the dressing room with him
6:00   Supper...frozen pizza (I eat this way a lot)
7:00   London to watch Adrian play indoor soccer (I'm glad he sticks with some athletics)
9:00   A bit more work (just to finish what I started earlier)
9:45   Blog (not much of a effort though)
10:15 Bedtime (thank god, I'm tired!)

Hell!  I can barely handle this part time job!

(run 7.3kms, swim 1500 metres)

Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others."---H Jackson Browne

Love
Peter

"And So This is Christmas"

For some reason I usually get a little bit reflective at this time of year. It always sneaks up on me and I inevitably find myself about a week before Christmas feeling somewhat unsettled. After tossing it around in my head I had decided not to write about this unsettledness, and then at the last moment was somehow reminded that writing about my feelings was often exactly what I needed.

So here goes a brief analysis of why I think I feel this way. I suspect 2 major culprits.

The first one I suppose you could just call nostalgia. With the first bit of snow on the ground, and the seasonal decorations everywhere many powerful memories are triggered. I looked up nostalgia in the dictionary and I found "a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life". I find this really interesting because most of my nostalgic thoughts at Christmas are of my childhood, but perhaps even more surprisingly are often related to the religious pagentry of that time. Interesting because both my childhood and the catholicism associated with it generally bring only negative memories. I guess I should consider that a positive eh? I can tell you that there was never a painful Christmas in our house as a kid. Ever! Starting with midnight mass as a family, through the inevitable box of chocolates that the priest would give the alter boys (with no strings attached..lol...), through trying to get dad to sleep in for one stinking day of the year and letting us do the chores, through the present opening, through one more time to church, through Christmas dinner at noon, I have not one memory of a raised voice!! While I am sure there must have been a few, I am just as sure that they were never the voices of either one of my parents. Never! And truthfully, if there was even any hard feelings at Christmas between any of my siblings (all 12 idiots) I have no memory of it. Amazing really. Not a wonder I suppose that my nostalgia takes me back to that time? Maybe, just maybe, my childhood wasn't all that crappy after all! I'm pretty sure that there are at least a few people out there who would have traded places with me.

The second culprit I think I will call disillusionment and my dictionary check here netted "to be freed from or deprived of illusion,belief, idealism, etc". Hmmm. Why couldn't I be allowed to live with my illusions and my beliefs, my hopes, my dreams, my ideals, my wishes and wants, my goals and aspirations, my story as I had written it? Special occasions such as birthdays or anniversaries, weddings and christenings, even funerals tend to bring to mind the way you always thought things were gonna work out. Of course there are also the seasonal holidays, of which Christmas is the big daddy. Christmas is a time of family and as such it is the time that we are often reminded of what we thought our family would be like. I try not to fall into this wishing trap because despite the fact that things are different, they are not necessarily worse. Sure enough I wish that some things followed my plan better, but I can also say unequivocably that they are outweighed by the pleasant surprises, not the least of which live next door to me. I guess the disillusionment is just a selfish desire to have my cake and eat it too. I want all the pleasant surprises and the original dreams as well.

So I think that's it. I know that I am supposed to be grateful that I have a family that numbers in the hundreds, a good roof over my head, way too much to eat, and enough money to buy a few gifts but still I feel a bit reflective. I hope you will understand and forgive me. Maybe a few of you will even be able to relate.

In closing I can assure you of this. When the big day arrives, and all my children and grandchildren follow suit, and we do the gift exchange, and eat the turkey that I will cook personally, all of the nostalgia and the disullusionment will leave accordingly. I won't have to work at it!

(swim 30 mins, computrainer 30 mins)

"Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days."---Doug Larson

"People seem to get nostalgic about a lot of things they weren't so crazy about the first time around."---Anon

“Wisdom comes by disillusionment."---George Santayana (no relation to Santaclaus)

“The longer you stay in one place, the greater your chances of disillusionment".---Art Spander

Love
Peter

"From Hell to Heaven"

If last weeks 24 kms was the run from hell than this weeks was the run in heaven! I didn't know it though until at about 6 kms I seen an angel coming the other way. She stopped and kissed me on the lips. Thanks Roo!

Unfortunately it is not any easier running in heaven than it is in hell. Despite having 4 days completely off I was actually slower this week than last. Much to my amazement I had still not recovered from the horrors of last saturday. My legs ached with every step...front, back, top and bottom, as well as my knee and hip joints. While the mental toughness was all very admirable, from a purely physiological perspective I made a big mistake last week. I should have stopped running. Hopefully I can rmember the lesson and not repeat it. I believe that I actually went backwards and in order to recover completely I will have to continue to go easy for 2 or 3 more days at least. Swim tomorrow, and maybe an easy bike ride. I can't even do weights right now.

And a very big welcome to Elly!! If you did not know about "Game On" it is not because I didn't tell you about it some 4 months ago. Regardless it is very nice to hear from you.

(24.3kms, 2:08)
“Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?"---Friedrich Nietzsche

Love
Peter

"Can't Wait To Get Back At It!"

Swim, bike, run, eat!  That's the agenda for the next 8 months, and barring a world crisis for me to solve, that will remain my priority for the duration.  I am thinking of taking Cristmas day off but only if I'm really freakin tired.  Over the Xmas break I will decide on my training races for the year as well, including finding a marathon that I can live with.  Since my local marathon (London) has been discontinued I will either have to travel quite some distance to find another small race, or compromise and do one of the bigger Toronto area events.  I do not like the big races as most of them now run point to point which drives me nuts.  You have to take a bus or get someone to drop you off at the start.  Of course we are already slated for Around the Bay at the end of March which is also a pretty big event but at least they end up where they started.  On top of that I will also do a short duathlon, a middle distance triathlon, and a half.  I am excited about that because there is one in Welland this year so I will be able to swim in the old canal (which is very nice actually), rather than in the weed infested lake in Peterborough.  I think I committed to kicking old John's ass in Belwood as well, so I will have to check the date of that.  I think it actually falls the day after what will be my longest and toughest workout of the entire year so the ass-kicking may be kind of tame!

OH, OH!  John, I just checked and I don't see the race on the trisport canada schedule???  wtf???  Do you know?  Is someone else running it?  If not, it's gonna have to be Guelph in June.  You better get training!  Guelph is nice anyway.  I know some people there who will put us up for the night. :)  Then again it's the week before the half....hmmm....

Whatever works out it's gonna be a fantastic year.  Of course I got to get home first.  I'm about 7 hours into my 21 hour trip.  See you tomorrow.  I cant wait to get back at it!!   

"The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men."---George Eliot

"Never tell a young peron that anything can not be done. God may have been waiting centuries for someone ignorant enough of the impossible to do that very thing".---G.M. Trevelyan

Love
Peter

"I Wonder?"

If all the thoughts I am capable of thinking I have already thunk? 

For example, I know this one is not a new one.  I miss my Adrian!  I wish he could travel with me, and we could get to know each other better.  I have fooled lots of people into thinking I have been a good parent but I know the truth of it.  I don't wallow in it (or at least not too much) but I know I have not really done any of my children justice.  I have aided them when they needed to fight their own battles, and conversely, not always been there when they truly needed me.  And furthermore I have, and continue to have, problems deciding when to play which part....the old "wisdom to know the difference" adage.

Alright!  That's it!  I'm coming home saturday morning and then ain't goin anywhere for the next 9 months other than Penticton.  As soon as I get home I need to avenge my long run screwup from last week. I hope this post goes up okay since the Internet connection here is almost non-existent.

"But, in fact, there is nothing that can bring you closer to fearlessness about everything else in the world than being a parent - because everyday fears pale by comparison to the fears you have about your children."---Arianna Huffington

"In order to influence a child, one must be careful not to be that child's parent or grandparent."---Don Marquis

Love
Peter

"Creme de Papaya"

Fresh papaya blended with vanillla ice cream and topped by some kind of fruit liquor called "licor de cassis".  It is the best thing god or man ever created.  I had two! Life is good on the beach in Brazil!  I hope you're all jealous.  It is however almost midnight and tomorrows another busy day. 

"Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday."---John Wayne

Love
Peter

"How Can It Be?"

Remember that one?  I wrote a lengthy post, or maybe even two, around those four little words last time around.  A little briefer this time....I just want to know how an innocent little, 10 hour plane ride can turn a 56 year old Ironman into a 56 year old grampa with sore joints, aching muscles, a tired brain and a constant desire to sleep?  How can it be?

Actually I think it is just confirmation that I needed this break.  Despite the pride I took in my tenacity during my long run, the fact that my legs are still sore sends a clear message.  I do not recall ever feeling a 24 km run 3 days later.  I was pushing it to the limit and that of course is risking acute injury, or overall breakdown.  The only real cost to taking 4 days of  will be to my waistline.  When I am at home I prepare my food portions with some sense of the overall calories and the fat content and that is what I eat.  I think every restaurant and hotel in all of Brazil has a buffet!  My worst enemy, since buffets often include many items that are easy for me to eat....oh and big dessert tables!!

On the good news/bad news front, I finally have a schedule for my hyperbaric therapy.  The bad news is that it is not until February, which isn't really bad news either, as long as I don't have further problems in the interim.  My visits to Hamilton General will be at noon every day for the 6 weeks, and that's good because I will be able to get a workout in every morning before I leave, and I should be able to miss both morning and afternoon traffic.  It is also a great excuse to avoid any work for 6 weeks.  I really do have a great employer and a great boss when it comes to my personal needs.....I know it will be no questions asked!

I'm also really intrigued to see how the treatments affect my training.  It seems to me that spending 2 plus hours breathing pure oxygen every day must be good for you eh?...or maybe not?  I'm gonna belivee it will be good for me because it may lessen the sting of spending 6 weeks driving to Hamilton, and watching Oprah reruns throught the glass of gthe chamber.  Apparently Sly Stallone used it while filming for Rocky so "ther ya go Paulie"  Also it seems that lots of pro athletes have been toying with it for the last several years.  I will tell you more about it once I research it better. Here's a funny thoiught.  It just occurred to me that in the past I blogged about the merits of a school of thought that training at altitude (less pressure, less oxygen) will make you fitter, faster! ... hmmm...As a Habs fan I wish some of them would try either one or the other, or better yet provide it for their fans who are the real ones suffering!!

"I still need more healthy rest in order to work at my best. My health is the main capital I have and I want to administer it intelligently."---Ernest Hemingway

Love
Peter

"Gotta Go!"

But I have promised myself that this is the last time, at least until after Aug 26, 2012.  I am heading out to Brazil for the rest of the week and although as always I am dreading the travel, I could not pass up an opportunity to visit my friends.  I leave at a time that I am feeling pretty good about my training and while it will be tough to step aside for a few days I am also confident that it won't hurt me.  In fact it may be exactly what I need, since I'm still a bit sore in the legs, and I think maybe I'm living a little too close to the edge.  Today for example I ran for 40 minutes but will forego my weights because it doesn't feel quite right. I'm sure that 10 hours on an airplane will make me right eh??  As soon as I get back it will be full speed ahead for 8 months.  Life is good!

(run 7.3 kms)

"May you live all the days of your life"---Joinathan Swift

Love
Peter

"A Glimmer of Hope"

Was it just this past tuesday that I was lamenting my lack of swim prowess?  Well I have continued to work hard at it ever since, both in the pool and on the Internet.  It is amazing the amount of advice that is out there, and even more amzaing how contradictory much of it is. I have gradually come to the realization that there is no magic bullet ,but at the same time I still believe there are specific approaches that will help me.  Today for the first time I felt a glimmer of hope that I am starting to put it together.  The major attributes of front crawl seem to be reach, catch, pull, arm recovery, roll, hip drive, and kick.  And within each one of those there are various styles or techniques.  As I start to put things together it seems that the approach you choose needs to be as individual as you are, depending on strength, flexibility, fitness, and perhaps most of all, body type, and body density. 

For me to get better at something I need to understand it.  I can't just blindly follow someones advice.  But like I said I think I'm learning.  Since I had such a tough workout yesterday I decided to treat myself to a wetsusit swim today.  After a brief warmup I set out to do 1000 metres focusing on just 3 things.  Extended reach, body roll, and a 2 beat kick.  Reach to help elongate my body in the water, roll to present a marrower front to the water, and a 2 beat kick as opposed to 4 beat or 6 beat, primarily  because it conserves energy. And wonder of wonders it felt pretty good!  I had no trouble completing the 1000 metres, and I did it at a faster pace than I previously did half the distance.  I actually snuck under 18 minutes, and if I could maintain that while gradually building up to ironman distance my life would be complete.  I will start drilling specifically towards that technique.  Today at least I am quite optimistic.  Woohoo!

(swim 1500 metres, 40 mins computrainer)

"In all things it is better to hope than to despair"---Johann Wolgang von Goethe

"Hope arouses, as nothing else can arouse, a passion for the possible."---William Sloan Coffin

"You can swim all day in the Sea of Knowledge and still come out completely dry. Most people do.---Anon

“No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God; and can swim".---Anon

Love
Peter

"Humbled"

Probably some of you are thinking, good!  The guy could stand a little humility!  And maybe you would be right.  I know I am a bit cocky at times but I continue to work on it.  It's tough though you see, because the line between arrogance and confidence is a fine one.  I need my self confidence, and/or cockiness if you prefer, to get me thorugh the tough spots.  Today for instance without a strong belief in myself I would never have made it through my run.  As it is, while my adventure reminded me to stay within myself and not get ahead of my true ability, I am also reminded of my mental strength.  Let me tell you about it.

As I contnue to build my run endurance my plan is to achieve a certain pace at a  certain distance before I stretch it out again.  That is what I did with 20 k.  When I managed it in 5 min/kms I moved up to the current 24 plus.  So last week I did the distance in 5:05 mins/kms so I figured I was ready to give 5 mins a shot.  Boy was I wrong!  Wrong day, wrong weather, wrong gloves, wrong attitude!  It was the most hurt I have felt in a long, long time.

At about 7 kms I knew that I was not over my tough thursday bike ride as my legs were actually sore, a very rare feeling.  I hoped it was going to go away but I also knew better.  Any pain that comes on that far in is generally there to stay.  As well it was minus 8 celsius and I was starting to regret not replacing the gloves that I had known for some time were barely adequate any more.  At 8 kms I had the wind at my back for a while and so got a bit of respite.  When I turned at 11 kms and felt the cold again I knew there would probably not be any world records today.  At 14 kms my hands were really in trouble.  I tried everything I could to get my right hand warm but to no avail, and was actually starting to worry a little about frostbite.

The next 3 kms were uphill and I knew by then that it was gonna get uglier.  At just over 17 kms I could have turned for home thereby cutting more than 6 kms off my 24.  I knew that from a strictly physical perspective this would be the smart thing to do.  But I also know that once you start quitting it only gets easier to make it a habit.  Kinda like eating ice chocolate cake with ice cream.  So the little man on my shoulder seen me past the interesection and I kept plodding along.  I pulled my right sleeve completely down over my hand and although it was pretty awkward this seemed to help a bit. 

At 19 kms I turned directly into the wind  again and my pace was falling off quickly.  When I turned again with 3 kms to go I really thought I was gonna walk.  I accidentally yanked one of my ear phones out and I simply could not get it back in my ear because my hands could no longer feel anything.  I finished the run with them in my hand.

Somehow I kept wobbling along and arrived home at 2:07:05, for an average pace of 5:14 per kilometer.

So!  A bit humbled, but maybe not too much.  A bit wiser, but probably not too much.  A bit sore, but hopefully not too much.  And as grateful as ever, but never too much

Right after my run I took Colby to his hockey game where I was further humbled, this time by a childs attitude towards sport and life.  His team lost 7-1 and after he got off  the ice the first words out of his mouth...."Man that was fun!" 

And today I wonder about this.  Why the fuck is there an American flag hanging permanently and prominently in our local arena, right next to the queen, and on a level with the maple leaf which hangs on the other side of the old girl???  Please explain.

And for Old John....I love ya man!

(24.3 km run...2:07:05)

“I'm not insecure. I've been through way too much f**king sh*t to be insecure. I've got huge balls. But I've been humbled. That makes you grateful for every day you have."---Drew Barrymore

"True humility is intelligent self respect which keeps us from thinking too highly or too meanly of ourselves. It makes us modest by reminding us how far we have come short of what we can be."---Ralph W. Sockman

Love
Peter

"Back in the Groove"

I have finally started sleeping again and getting into a decent rhythm.  I did nothing but an easy swim today because I'm very tired.  If that seems like a contradiction let me explain.  There is the life draining kind of tired that comes from stress, lack of sleep, jet lag etc.  And their is the life giving kind of tired that comes from putting stress on a well rested, well nourished body.  It was nice to take  a day off for the second kind of tired.  I have had 4 good days in a row since my "discouraged" day last Sunday, culminating yesterday in the best indoor bike ride I have had yet.  I got a workout idea, believe it or not, from an Australian guy I met in a hotel gym in China.  Basically it amounted to 80 minutes of non stop discomfort.  Tomorrow's my long run day, and I cant wait to get at it!  Game on!

You know what occurred to me today that the rest of you probably recognized a long time ago?  This whole Ironman thing is a very self serving undertaking.  I think the first time around there was perhaps some nobility in it, in that it was a journey back to health ;physical, mental, and emotional, and it was in may ways done in tribute to those who loved me through those dark times.  This time though, it's a little tougher to rationalize how it is adding value to anyones world but mine.  Not that I'm apologizing for it being a selfish undertaking, just reminding myself not to think otherwise. 

(swim 1200 metres)

“A man grows most tired while standing still."---Anon

“A red rose is not selfish because it wants to be a red rose. It would be horribly selfish if it wanted all the other flowers in the garden to be both red and roses."---Oscar Wilde

Love
Peter

"It's All Good!"

I had a damn good day today!

I started to tell you about it but then hit the back space cause it just don't matter. All that matters is that I enjoyed the day! So today I'm gonna make like my old man and not waste any words.

(swim 1200 metres, computrainer 30kms)

....but here ae some "good" quotes for you to enjoy...

"Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill"---Buddha

"To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear."---Buddha

"When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion."---Abraham Lincoln

"We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do."---Mother Teresa

"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."---William Shakespeare

"I believe that every human mind feels pleasure in doing good to another."---Thomas Jefferson

....and this last one for my only grandson who I love more than life itself....

"Any book that helps a child to form a habit of reading, to make reading one of his deep and continuing needs, is good for him."---Maya Angelou

Love
Peter

"Ejection Fraction"

Ever heard of that?  I'll bet not!  It is basically a measure of your hearts pumping efficiency. And you can take it literally.  It is a fraction, with the amount of blood your heard chambers hold being the denominator, and the amount of blood it spits out with every pump the numerator.  My EF is 61,  which is just perfect thank you very much!!

How do I know this? Well from the echocardiogram that I had done because this senior citizen doctor  in Hamilton (no not me, he was the senior) told me that I had a heart murmer and potentially something called aoritc stenosis.  Briefly that means that the valve leading from your heart to your lungs is  fubared ( if you don't know what that means ask Elly) and may need repair or replacement!  And of course with that would come all kinds of other complications such as thickening of the heart wall etc. etc. Nice eh?  So I have been just a little anxious for more than a month now waiting on this test to prove that the kindly old gentleman had perhaps heard his own heart malfuntioning but certanly not mine.  The echo results state unequivocably "there is no evidence of aortic stenosis".  Phew!  Somehow I couldn't imagine a future where I would have to slow down because I had heart problems....that would have been a bit disheartening...lmao!!!

Anyway, all's good Cory.  Of course you knew that didn't you?

(run 7.3 kms, swim 1000 metres, weights)

“Excuse me Doctor, I think I know a little something about medicine"---Homer Simpson

...and I really like this one...

"If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded."---Maya Angelou

Love
Peter

"Swimming Lessons"

All right! Here's the deal. In order to achieve the overall time that I have in mind but ain't gonna tell you about, I need to be riding my bike 1 hour and 20 minutes after the starting horn goes. Allowing 4 minutes for my transition this leaves me 76 minutes for the swim. In 2009 I took almost 84 minutes. So that's an improvement of 10 percent and after churning around in the pool today I came to the sad realization that it is an improbable task....make that inconceivable, unachievable, out of the question, and impossible! Of course with that realization came the sudden freedom to go ahead and do it anyway. That may sound funny but that is exactly the way my mind processed it. Now I just have to figure out how.

So, I took my first lesson today. And it was free believe it or not! Swimming next to me was a 60 year old gentleman who I have known for years as he has also been part of the running community. Every morning Steve makes the 3 km walk from his house to arrive at the pool by about 6:30 am. He then proceeds to do his regular 80 lengths ( 2 kms) and then retraces his steps home. Today I offered him a ride and he took me up on it. As we were headin out he asked me to hold on for a minute while he took off his fluorescent vest and folded up his cane...his white cane!

But what about the lesson you may ask? Actually Steve is not a very fast swimmer so I don't think the lesson was about stroke improvement. He lives by himself in his own home, and never asks a thing of anyone other than a guiding elbow now and again. He is totally and completely blind, and goes to the pool every day and swims 2 kms. I think that was the lesson. It's actually quite mezmorizing to watch. He swims right beside the lane rope but never touches it, never veers off course, and never crashes into the end of the pool. I'm pretty damn sure that if I demonstrated the same kind of effort I would achive the times I want. Let's see if I have the resolve.

To give you an idea of where I'm at, I believe that I need to be able to swim 1 minute per lap in the pool without my wetsuit to have the confidence to achieve the time I need in the lake with my wetsuit. The Ironman distance is almost 80 laps and today I did 4 at that pace! Got a ways to go eh? Tomorrow I will try for five!

(30 kms computrainer, 1000 metres swim)

"One of the most important lessons that experience teaches is that, on the whole, success depends more upon character than upon either intellect or fortune"---William Hartpole

"Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible."---Cherie Carter-Scott

Love
Peter

"Feeling Better"

Sally reminded me not too feel bad cause I'm an old control freak, and Old John fixed my Internet Explorer problem.  I think you're both brilliant! 

I worked all day including a trip to Brampton and I barely had time to get a quick run in.  I think that's the best solution for my jet lag....I couldn't take a nap!  So now it's 9 pm and I'm ready for a good nights sleep.

(7.3km run 33 mins)

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work."---Ogden Nash

Love
Peter

"Discouraged"

It's been a day of rethinking. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak! Or maybe rather the spirit is willing but the mind is weak. I think there's a difference. Whenever we feel challenged it's how we think it out that will determine one result or another...positive or negative as we choose. Even as I write that I feel a little less discouraged as I remind myself that I have the power to choose. The reality is that I am getting older and my body will simply not behave the way it did even 2 years ago, and I need to acknowledge that. I need to acknowledge it and adjust accordingly.

I had a quite a decent run yesterday (24 kms at a 5:05 pace) but today the wheels fell off. It started out this morning in the pool with the realization that I wasn't going anywhere fast. Without my wetsuit I can barely swim 250 metres nonstop! After that I spend about 50 minutes on the bike trainer that was all I could do to survive. I had this bright idea that I was gonna do weights tonite as well but there was just no freakin way. Instead I fell asleep at 4 pm, only to wake up 2 hours later feeling completely overwhelmed.

So tomorrow's another day, right? I have decided I need to go back to square one in the pool. No wetsuit, no fancy styles, just frequent steady workouts patiently building my distance while focusing on technique. Back to how I started out some 19 years go. I think right now I am better off with shorter stints in the pool, but at least 5 times per week.

I'm also pretty sure that the time zone issue is pretty major for my aging body. I hurt all over, way disproportionately to the workouts I've done since returning home. Any travel between now and next August will have to be north-south or not at all. I'm just not prepared to suffer like this any more.

So yes Old John my friend, lots of internal dialogue but that's what it's all about eh? Talking your self into it, whatever 'it' is. I do take pride in the belief that I never stay down too long. Other than the six months or so after my illness I usually mange to find my optimism.

Speaking of discouraged, I'm really quite mystified by a strange phenomenon occuring on 2 of my favorite quote sights. Whenever I open the link to "brainyquote" or "thinkexist" and enter a search the browser refreshes to an empty page after about 5 seconds. What's really weird is that this happened to both sites on the same day. Anyone got any ideas? I have tried emptying my cache and clearing my cookies to no avail??

(swim 30  minutes, computrainer 45 mins)
"A man can get discouraged many times but he is not a failure until he begins to blame somebody else and stops trying."---John Burroughs

Love
Peter

"Top Ten Ways You Can Tell You Live in Canada"

#10)  We got Canadian Tire!  One of the few places in the world where you can get your skates sharpened while you wait for a tire rotation!

 #9)  You can get in your car anytime you want , and go almost anywhere you want, without a driver or a body guard, and with no fear of being carjacked!

 #8)  Women can walk around with their boobs hanging out any time they so desire.  Personally I haven't seen much evidence of this but I think it's a good rule!

 #7)  We have spring, summer, fall, and winter.  I would not trade this for all the tea in China!

 #6)  It is normal to eat with a fork, a spoon and a knife.  While I make no judgement about other cultures this just seems to be so much more sensible than eating tofu with chopsticks, or rice with your hands!

 #5)  You can have as many children as you want and every one of them will receive decent health care, and a public education.  While it ain't perfect I think it is still as good as any, and better than most systems in the world.

 #4)  You can vote for Stephen Harper without fear of being shot for it.  Although if I voted for him I wouldn't tell Michael for fear of getting slapped!

 #3)  We have 2 official languages but only one alphabet.  Before I seen a bit  of the world I thought this was complicated

 #2)  We do not have any one named Michelle Bachman, Bill O'Reilly, or Anne Coulter.  What's most important about this is the reason we don't have them.  Their bigoted attitudes simply wouldn't thrive in Canada.

....and the number one way you can tell you live in Canada..

 #1)  You can walk down the street holding hands with anyone you damn well want to, man or woman, wearing whatever you want, and while you may get some verbal abuse for your personal choice,  you will not get thrown in jail for it!

(24 km run 2:03:40)

"Canada is like your attic, you forget that it's up there, but when you go, it's like "Oh man, look at all this great stuff"---Anon

"I believe the world needs more Canada"--- Bono

....and especially for Michelle, Bill and Anne...

"take off eh"

Love
Peter

"Holy Cow"

No wait!  That was back in India.  I had a hamburger for lunch!
Up at 3:30 this morning but actually felt pretty good.  Then I fell asleep for 2 hours this afternoon and now I just feel so lousy.  It's hard to describe.  I desperately want to lay down and go back to sleep but I have to try to force myself back into a rhythm. I'm shooting for at least 9 pm before I let go.
I'm a little nervous as well because Michael may not be happy with my blogging lethargy....sorry Mike...I just got nothing.

(computrainer 30 kms, swim 30 mins)

“Although an ass is tired, he continues to carry his burden; he is unmindful of cold and heat; and he is always contented; these three things should be learned from the ass."---Chanakya

“The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But then he looked around and saw skulls and bones everywhere. "Uh-oh," he thought. "This watering hole is reserved for skeletons."---Jack Handy

Love
Peter

"What Day is it?"

All I know for sure is that it is 6 am and I have been up since 3:30.  I'm not sure if it's today or tomorrow, or even maybe yesterday.  I did just realize however that it has been 2 sleeps since I have posted a blog so I will have to back date this.  Then I'm gonna go workout downstairs since the probability of more sleep is very low. 

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, and hope for tomorrow.  The important thing is not to stop questioning"---Albert Einstein

Love
Peter