All is well!
Worrying by yourself is a lonely thing. I have been quietly doing so for the last month and finally broke down and told Claudette yesterday. I know I have complained several times about mouth sores, and while that is indeed the norm that I live with, I was getting a little scared. While they come and go depending on several things including my diet, my oral hygiene, and my sleep patterns, there has been one spot that has become persistent and more painful than usual. To compound my fears the spot is very close to the site of my original primary tumor.
Day after day I considered calling one doctor or another to get it diagnosed. I don't know what held me back other than perhaps fear. Regardless, telling Claudette seemed to break through my procrastination and I called the clinic immediately. They were fantastic!
I got to talk to a triage nurse right away and after hearing my story she promised to see what she could do to get me in. By days end I had a return call, and an appointment for today at 1:30.
I love Dr Hammond. He is the prototypical old school doctor with a formal fairly style, but over the years Roo and I have worn him down. His first question for me? "How's your Ironman training going?"
Ya gotta love it. I told him that training was going fine and that I didn't need anything interfering with it. After hearing me out, and after much poking, and prodding and feeling around he decreed me 'cancer free'!!
Woohoo!
Now the only other concern was the dreaded osteoradionecrosis. Remember that? That's the thing I travelled to Hamilton for 6 weeks in an attempt to avoid.
So off to the cancer dentist for x-rays and another examination. After more poking and prodding Dr Lederhof decreed me ORN free!!
Woohoo!
So what it it? This may amaze you but as soon as he described it I knew he was right.
Tight tendons!
Yup. The tendons that attach my tongue to the side of my mouth are tight as a bowstring on both sides, with the left one being the worst. This is of course another radiation holdover. But it all makes sense to me because of how the pain spikes in response to certain movements of my tongue. He did offer the suggestion that partially cutting the tendon may bring some relief. I need to think about that but the very earliest that could happen would be after Aug 26th. I can't imagine that it would feel very good for the first while and could impact my ability to eat well.
Anyway what a great sense of relief I feel right now. Like I said it is tough worrying alone, but I also didn't want to worry others. That's probably stupid but you have come to expect that from me anyway so no harm done.
You know what's really funny. In all my quiet worrying my greatest fear was not one of getting cancer again and dying. My greatest fear was of getting cancer again and having it interfere with my training. I had even rehearsed the scenario in my mind in which I would have to make a decision whether to undergo treatment right away, or take a chance and wait til after Ironman. Thankfully I am not faced with that dilemma.
Game on!
And in closing I think it's funny that I as I age my sphincters are getting looser, while my tendons are getting tighter. And while no one answered my sphincter question I think in the case of tendons I know they won't stretch much, but I also know that the muscles they are attached to can indeed by exercised and lengthened. I'm gotta add my tongue to my workout routine!
Tomorrow is long ride day and it will be on my old bike. While the new girl is about ready to go I need to tweak it and prove out the saddle and the overall setup on shorter rides first. Next week for sure.
Life is good!
(swim, drills only)
"For fast-acting relief try slowing down."---Lily Tomlin
Worrying by yourself is a lonely thing. I have been quietly doing so for the last month and finally broke down and told Claudette yesterday. I know I have complained several times about mouth sores, and while that is indeed the norm that I live with, I was getting a little scared. While they come and go depending on several things including my diet, my oral hygiene, and my sleep patterns, there has been one spot that has become persistent and more painful than usual. To compound my fears the spot is very close to the site of my original primary tumor.
Day after day I considered calling one doctor or another to get it diagnosed. I don't know what held me back other than perhaps fear. Regardless, telling Claudette seemed to break through my procrastination and I called the clinic immediately. They were fantastic!
I got to talk to a triage nurse right away and after hearing my story she promised to see what she could do to get me in. By days end I had a return call, and an appointment for today at 1:30.
I love Dr Hammond. He is the prototypical old school doctor with a formal fairly style, but over the years Roo and I have worn him down. His first question for me? "How's your Ironman training going?"
Ya gotta love it. I told him that training was going fine and that I didn't need anything interfering with it. After hearing me out, and after much poking, and prodding and feeling around he decreed me 'cancer free'!!
Woohoo!
Now the only other concern was the dreaded osteoradionecrosis. Remember that? That's the thing I travelled to Hamilton for 6 weeks in an attempt to avoid.
So off to the cancer dentist for x-rays and another examination. After more poking and prodding Dr Lederhof decreed me ORN free!!
Woohoo!
So what it it? This may amaze you but as soon as he described it I knew he was right.
Tight tendons!
Yup. The tendons that attach my tongue to the side of my mouth are tight as a bowstring on both sides, with the left one being the worst. This is of course another radiation holdover. But it all makes sense to me because of how the pain spikes in response to certain movements of my tongue. He did offer the suggestion that partially cutting the tendon may bring some relief. I need to think about that but the very earliest that could happen would be after Aug 26th. I can't imagine that it would feel very good for the first while and could impact my ability to eat well.
Anyway what a great sense of relief I feel right now. Like I said it is tough worrying alone, but I also didn't want to worry others. That's probably stupid but you have come to expect that from me anyway so no harm done.
You know what's really funny. In all my quiet worrying my greatest fear was not one of getting cancer again and dying. My greatest fear was of getting cancer again and having it interfere with my training. I had even rehearsed the scenario in my mind in which I would have to make a decision whether to undergo treatment right away, or take a chance and wait til after Ironman. Thankfully I am not faced with that dilemma.
Game on!
And in closing I think it's funny that I as I age my sphincters are getting looser, while my tendons are getting tighter. And while no one answered my sphincter question I think in the case of tendons I know they won't stretch much, but I also know that the muscles they are attached to can indeed by exercised and lengthened. I'm gotta add my tongue to my workout routine!
Tomorrow is long ride day and it will be on my old bike. While the new girl is about ready to go I need to tweak it and prove out the saddle and the overall setup on shorter rides first. Next week for sure.
Life is good!
(swim, drills only)
"For fast-acting relief try slowing down."---Lily Tomlin
Love
Peter
funny my ass, you have not been worrying alone... Thanks for having it checked! love you infinity
ReplyDeleteElly says it all. Always trust in your soul mate, the person who loves you to help conquer your fears.
ReplyDeleteSorry Im a couple days behind. Its been a long week. Sphincters can indeed be exercised, and should be exercised regularly. Fortunately this can be done while doing almost anything else, such as your long runs and bike rides. Unfortunately it takes concentration and if you let your mind wander to anything else you will suddenly realize you have stopped. You almost need to do it with a partner so you can keep each other on track. Perhaps Roo would consider coaching you in this endeavor. For you peer you need to do keegals (thats spelled wrong but I cant be bothered fixing it) and some start/stop thingies when you are actually using it. Also use timed peeing routines, i.e make yourself stick to a schedule whether you have to go or not.I can also discuss other sphincters if you wish, but I am in desperate need of a bathroom. Oh, and by the way, I wasn't worried. Much love
ReplyDelete