I'm sure you've heard of the term 'institutionalized'. While as a verb it means the act of being sent to the funny farm, as an adjective it describes a psychological condition experienced by people who have been quite literally locked up for an extended period of time.
That's the way I feel. Lost without someone or some situation to tell me what to do next. You come to depend on the system. For example, I am having trouble getting my e-mail to work on my personal phone, or I can't seem to export my contact list, and there's nobody to do it for me!
And I can't e-mail anyone to get help because guess what....no e-mail! That was a really weird moment for me last night. First I could no longer get on our corporate intranet site, and then, even though I knew it was gonna happen, when they pulled the plug on my e-mail it still somehow surprised me. I have had that e-mail address as long as e-mail has existed. I had to stop myself from picking up the phone to get it fixed, as if it was just another routine technical problem. Alas....someone purposely cut me off! Threw me off the bus! Out of the family! Into the street.
And that's really the biggest thing I guess. All my friends work at Cosma...well not all of them....actually a lot of them got fired with me! I guess the point is that Cosma was the home that brought us all together. Now without that connection will I still remain part of the gang, or will the relationships quickly dissipate?
My role over the last several years has gradually become one of counsellor/advisor. A great part of what I do (did) is talk to people, hopefully bringing some inspiration and encouragement.. Despite some of the frustrations I have experienced it was that part of the job that I really loved. I got such gratification out of seeing people grow and develop their skills and I think I will miss that the most.
But when all is said and done I am confident that this is the very best thing that could have happened. My termination was handled with respect, and after little negotiation, for a little while at least, I don't have to worry about working. I am super, super excited about the upcoming summer now. By the time I finish the hyperbaric nonsense spring should be almost here, and I intend on living outside for the most part of every day. I will probably come inside to sleep and maybe to eat!
If only I had a nice pair of 100% cotton socks my life would be complete!
No workout for the second day in a row. This morning I was up for good by 3:00 am and combined with all of the nervous energy I have expended over the last few days I am utterly exhausted. Tomorrow is long run day but I will not finalize the decision to go until the morning. If it is still cold and windy I may procrastinate for another day. I need a good "long" run without too much pain!
"All things are difficult before they are easy."---Thomas fuller
....and I know this one is probably not relevant or very self serving but that probably does not make it less valid....and it has the right word in it
"All personal, psychological, social, and institutionalized domination on this earth can be traced back to its' source: the phallic identities of men". Andrea Dworkin
That's the way I feel. Lost without someone or some situation to tell me what to do next. You come to depend on the system. For example, I am having trouble getting my e-mail to work on my personal phone, or I can't seem to export my contact list, and there's nobody to do it for me!
And I can't e-mail anyone to get help because guess what....no e-mail! That was a really weird moment for me last night. First I could no longer get on our corporate intranet site, and then, even though I knew it was gonna happen, when they pulled the plug on my e-mail it still somehow surprised me. I have had that e-mail address as long as e-mail has existed. I had to stop myself from picking up the phone to get it fixed, as if it was just another routine technical problem. Alas....someone purposely cut me off! Threw me off the bus! Out of the family! Into the street.
And that's really the biggest thing I guess. All my friends work at Cosma...well not all of them....actually a lot of them got fired with me! I guess the point is that Cosma was the home that brought us all together. Now without that connection will I still remain part of the gang, or will the relationships quickly dissipate?
My role over the last several years has gradually become one of counsellor/advisor. A great part of what I do (did) is talk to people, hopefully bringing some inspiration and encouragement.. Despite some of the frustrations I have experienced it was that part of the job that I really loved. I got such gratification out of seeing people grow and develop their skills and I think I will miss that the most.
But when all is said and done I am confident that this is the very best thing that could have happened. My termination was handled with respect, and after little negotiation, for a little while at least, I don't have to worry about working. I am super, super excited about the upcoming summer now. By the time I finish the hyperbaric nonsense spring should be almost here, and I intend on living outside for the most part of every day. I will probably come inside to sleep and maybe to eat!
If only I had a nice pair of 100% cotton socks my life would be complete!
No workout for the second day in a row. This morning I was up for good by 3:00 am and combined with all of the nervous energy I have expended over the last few days I am utterly exhausted. Tomorrow is long run day but I will not finalize the decision to go until the morning. If it is still cold and windy I may procrastinate for another day. I need a good "long" run without too much pain!
"All things are difficult before they are easy."---Thomas fuller
....and I know this one is probably not relevant or very self serving but that probably does not make it less valid....and it has the right word in it
"All personal, psychological, social, and institutionalized domination on this earth can be traced back to its' source: the phallic identities of men". Andrea Dworkin
Love
Peter
You explained those mixed emotions so eloquently. Thank you for the counseling . See , you are still working.
ReplyDeleteGreat quote old man! For reference, go back a few days and take your own advice. Read old johns comment. Initial day or two of shock will quickly give way to new ideas and positive thoughts.
ReplyDeleteLove old john
This message is from Ky Waddell! She is unable to post on your blog!
ReplyDeleteHey Pete...thought you would enjoy this quote!
"The work you do while you procrastinate is probably the work you should be doing for the rest of your life." -- Jessica Hische
Live life to the fullest....BE NOT AFRAID....
ReplyDeleteEvery new beginning comes from some other beginnings end! Congratulations on your new beginning!
ReplyDelete